


Broken strings

by runningfromrealitytoanime



Series: Stories Given to You [2]
Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 12:28:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20966570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningfromrealitytoanime/pseuds/runningfromrealitytoanime
Summary: I can never forgive you.I can never forgive myself.But I want to.I miss you.





	Broken strings

**Author's Note:**

> Spent the whole morning makings gifs and this idea came to mind. Follow me on Imgflip, my username is runningfromrealitytoanime.

Its been three days since Mafuyu last saw Yukki.

The last time he saw him, they had fought and he had blurted something he thought would be harmless.

How wrong he was.

As he stood outside his boyfriend's door, his hand clutched to the guitar his mother had told him to give to her son after he hadn't showed up for breakfast that morning to go to school. Even though they went to separate high schools, Mafuyu did his best to see him once in a while. Often it would be Yukki making the effort to find him though.

A nagging feeling told Mafuyu he had to go today.

"Yukki?" Mrs Yoshida called as she knocked on the door, her face scrunched up with worry as she knocked one more time.

"Sorry for calling you over, Mafuyu-chan. Yukki didn't come down for dinner yesterday. I thought he was busy composing new music with his guitar but I realised he left it downstairs..." she murmured as she smiled at her son's boyfriend. She had always accepted him as thought her was her own son and had been so happy when she found out they were finally dating.

"I'm going downstairs to bring some tea," she whispered to him as she headed down, muttering to herself about boys being boys when they'e in love and teenage angst as Mafuyu stood outside Yukki's door, hand clutched on the red guitar his boyfriend loved so much.

"Yukki," he murmured as he slowly opened the door, not caring that his boyfriend answered. He had always been like that, someone who didn't speak much. As a child, he had been taught never to speak a lot, to always be passive, to always be the receiver and the listener.

Yukki was the only one to bring him out of his shell and showed him real love and affection.

As soon as Mafuyu opened the door, he was hit with a wave of cold and the stench of alcohol. He knew the smell very well. His father had drunk every day and abused him and his mother. He could never forget the horrible stench of vomit and the bitterness of beer wafting through the air, piercing his skin as though his father was slapping him across the face as a child.

The room was dark and he couldn't see what was beyond. Something white dangled nearby, Mafuyu's grip on the guitar tightening as he began to feel fear creeping in. The room had a odd stench to it, something he couldn't quite place. It wasn't the bright sunny room he had first made love with Yukki, or had so many of his firsts with his boyfriend. The cold to his sun, his first friend and love.

As his foot kicked against an empty beer can, Mafuyu could only turn to look up at the ceiling to the source of the smell, a familiar body clad in the blue blazer of the high school Mafuyu chose not to go to. His face was slack, eyes closed as Mafuyu stared on, his heart beating hard as his fingers closed around the strings of the guitar.

"Yukki," he whispered as blood roared through his ears.

_Yukki. Yukki. Yukki._

The only thing repeating itself in his mind was the sound of his boyfriend's name as he felt something break within him like the strings of the guitar he was holding onto so tight.

"Mafuyu-chan? Did you manage to get Yukki..." Mrs Yoshida called as Mafuyu tried to turn, to warn her that her son was no longer in this world. 

She couldn't know. She couldn't know. Not when the reason he died was...

There was the sound of shattering glass and a scream of anguish as Yukki's mother rushed to bring her song down, cradling him like a child as she screamed his name, trying to get his heart to start again. 

It was too late. Yukki must have died hours ago.

All because of him.

All because of one thing he said.

_Will you ever die for me?!_

"Yukki! Yukki!"

Over and over, Yukki's mother howled his name even as the paramedics arrived; someone must have heard the screams and called for help. Mafuyu didn't move from his position, his arms wrapped around the cold wooden surface of the guitar as he watched his boyfriend's body get carried away.

Somehow, he felt like he was still hugging Yukki, like he hadn't truly died yet.

During the funeral, he didn't say a word. He couldn't mourn for the person he killed. Not when everyone thought he was the only reason Yukki had been alive this whole time.

He didn't shed any tears as he watched him get burned, his ashes entombed in the family grave.

He didn't say a word as Yukki's mother gave her son's guitar to him, saying he would like him to have it.

He didn't say a word as he held onto the guitar, wishing he could breathe in Yukki's scent, even just for the last time. To hear his laugh. To hear his voice. To hold him. To caress him.

To love him.

He thought he had lost it all. He thought his emotions were gone for good. His world was now a world of black and white, devoid of colour and music, forever doomed to be a static world.

Until he met Uenoyama.

The first time he strummed the strings of the guitar, he fixed the strings to his broken heart. He brought colour back to his world, showed him the world Yukki loved so much that he was willing to go all out and get a guitar when he hadn't known how to play one.

As he sang on stage, he could feel his emotions washing over the guitar Yukki once held, his voice carrying all the emotions buried deep within his soul, screaming to be let out as he sang out the words he wished he could tell Yukki once more.

_You are everywhere I go. No matter where I go, you are there. Your scent, your presence, it never leaves this place._

_I will never forgive you._

_I will never forgive myself._

_But I want to._

_Because I miss you._


End file.
